*Disclaimer – this is for entertainment purposes.  Consider this Fiction.*

Ever heard of Stuff Christians Like?  It’s an entertaining blog about church culture… I guess that’s how I’d put it.  I find it a humorous way to remind myself what the bigger picture is about Christianity, and it’s not about whether or not I play cards or making sure I’m not sitting in someone else’s unspoken reserved seat in the second pew on the end.  There’s similar websites like Stuff Accountants Like (the girls and I in Finance at work get a kick out of this, some things are so true!) and who knows what else. 

Anyway, with that humor in mind comes this exaggerated story told from a woman’s point-of-view.  It may or may not be based on an actual event.

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Have you ever had a “marital discussion” with your spouse in a room full of Christians?  The implications of this atmosphere go beyond more than what we realize… after all, the fight (come on, let’s call it what it really is) has already became a “discussion,”  because after all, Christian spouses don’t fight, but “talk openly” about issues while submitting and respecting one another.  No one here is interested in winning.

Or maybe it’s more like no one will admit it out loud.

Well, imagine walking into a gathering, and you and your spouse have been “discussing” the whole ride there.  According to you, he hasn’t listened.  And according to him, you are being too sensitive.  What a bad combination when the sensitive one needs closure in the form of understanding, and the non-listener needs closure, too, but by talking it out… to death.  The talker frustrates you, the sensitive one, by over analyzing things and repeating his side of the story, making it appear as though he isn’t understanding you at all, and you frustrate him by being hurt due to frustration and refusing to talk anymore.

So, in you walk into the gathering, “discussion” obviously not resolved.  But you both put on your smiles as one Greeter (yes, capitalized because everyone knows this is an office to be held in a church) after the other says hello.  Of course you answer “Great!” to all of their “How are yous?” Actors must really envy Christians and their ability to always smile, no matter the circumstance, and turn it on and off as if going in and out of character at the drop a hat.  Or in this case, handshake.

He, being the talker, intermittently brings up the “discussion” again, because he has not reached closer by completely talking it through to the length he feels necessary.  So in the corner, you quietly and with expressionless faces (hoping no one can tell what’s going on) “discuss” some more, only to be interrupted mid-sentence by someone who apparently noticed the two of you off in the corner all alone and felt the call of duty upon them to let no one go unnoticed.  You talk to this person for a few minutes, catch up on the weekend, then are left to your spouse to complete the sentence and “discussion.”

After a few minutes, an end seems to be met, and you two join the rest of the group as the gathering officially begins.  After opening announcements and prayer comes the fellowship meal.  Of course men let the women go first.  But in route to the table, he asks if you can step outside to talk, so you respectfully oblige, because you are to respect the man.  You go outside, talk for a few minutes, reach the real end to the “discussion,” only to turn around and realize that there is a clear view from the food line to the windows at which you were standing outside of.  Anyone that looked just saw you two “discussing” outside.

Both of you go back in and take the end of the line, you being a bit too paranoid that everyone and their potato salad saw you two outside.  To add insult to injury, immediately men start making light of a woman being at the end of the line behind a few men and then start asking you why you are there.  Luckily enough, another woman comes along after having taken a bathroom pit stop and lands in line next to you answering their question on her own behalf.  Alibi obtained, and you stay just below the radar, silently associating yourself with the same lady and excuse.

It’s funny, because as frustrated as you might get for the lack of privacy, in the corner or outside, if the tables were turned, you’d be doing the same thing – – trying to establish peace and relational harmony with everyone in the room, no matter what the cost.  After all, Christians have a reputation to maintain, and in that brief moment you forget that you, too, fight.  Yes fight with your spouse.  Oh the joy of a selective memory. 🙂

*Disclaimer – this is for entertainment purposes.  Consider this Fiction.*